Archive for ‘When Your Stylist Attacks’

February 25th, 2012

When Your Stylist Attacks

Jaheim! What’s good, bro? We haven’t heard or seen much of you over the past few years, and now you decide to show up to Whitney Houston’s funeral dressed like Willy Wonka?

There’s really just one MAJOR thing wrong with this outfit. It’s not the color. Not the ridiculous length of the jacket. Not the pink ruffles on the shirt, nor is it the purple collar. It’s the fact that you would even CONSIDER wearing something like this to a funeral. You should be ashamed of yourself!

AND your girl is carrying a Speedy? I can’t…

R.I.P. Whitney Houston.

March 4th, 2011

When Your Stylists Attacks

Dear Drake,

Love your music bro! You’ve helped breathe life into a dying music industry, and we all are thankful to you for that. We do not appreciate however your extremely poor sense of style. From the frames all the way down to the boots, this look just doesn’t work – especially not for a red carpet. Something tells me that you put this ensemble together yourself. I hope you did, because paying a stylist for something like this would be ridiculous.

And for heaven’s sake SHAVE YOUR FACE!

Keep hustlin’!

November 20th, 2010

When Your Stylist Attacks

Wuzzz Goodie, Omarion?

Amidst all the rumors flying around nowadays (SMDH @ Raz-B), you have to remember – there is still NO excuse to attend an event looking CRAZY. If this pic was actually taken at your birthday party, I feel bad for you. You’re wearing COSTUME jewelry? White socks with black loafers? And if I see another person with those Louis Vuitton Evidence sunglasses I’m gonna run over my pair with a truck. I hope you’re not paying a stylist for this. But then again, you’re probably not. For some reason I don’t think you have the money to pay for a stylist – a REAL stylist anyway.

I bet that’s a clip-on too! *disgusted*

October 16th, 2010

When Your Stylist Attacks

Dear 50 Cent,

I think I remember an old saying that goes “The clothes don’t make the man, the man makes the clothes.” Well, maybe I’m messing it up – but no more than you messed up this outfit! This pic of you on the red carpet is a perfect example of why I believe that just because you have money DOES NOT mean you have an eye for fashion. The vest is courtesy of Dolce & Gabbana and the sneakers are by FENDI, but overall this look just doesn’t work for you. Honestly, I think we’d rather see you in hoodies and bulletproof vests.

If you have a stylist, Fif, fire him IMMEDIATELY. And if you don’t, stop what your doing right now and go find one ASAP.


October 4th, 2010

When Your Stylist Attacks

Dear Terrence J:

Wuzzzz goodie my dude! Congrats on surviving on 106th & Park for so long! I thought you and Rocsi were DOOMED at first :-/. Over the past few years I’ve noticed that you still haven’t found the right stylist yet. Your fits on the show are never really noteworthy, and lately Rocsi has really stepped her game up fashion-wise, exposing you for the lame that you truly are. I mean… do you even question what your so-called “stylist” brings for you to wear? Do you just put on WHATEVER someone lays out for you? Yes the jacket is Gucci, but the look is so 2008…

And are those Timberlands? *OFF YOURSELF*

August 7th, 2010

When Your Stylist Attacks

Dear C. Breezy:

What’s good my Lord?

I know things have been hard for you as of late, and I think one of the main reasons is because of the people you have around you. I mean, just LOOK at yourself. There is NO WAY a real friend would let you walk around in public like this. Yeah, yeah… I know those are the new Christian Louboutins on your feet, and the ascot is by Louis Vuitton but so what. You look RIDICULOUS. And if you paid a stylist to do this for you, you really are as dumb as you look in this pic.

And what the f*ck is in your hair?

Keep Hustlin’!

May 4th, 2010

When Your Stylist Attacks (NBA Playoff Edition)

Kobe Bryant.

from his recent LA Times photoshoot.

Dear Kobe:

I know it must be rough for you around this time of year. Everybody watching you and your team. The pressure must be enormous. Nevertheless, please don’t subject us to sh*t like this. You look ridiculous.